I’m at a friends place, where he just moved in. He says, “Hey, this is weird. Come check the closet out” and leads me out onto his deck.

He wants to put his kendo armor in this closet that’s actually a little bit bit bigger than my wallet. But there’s a problem; a plastic table top already occupies the entire closet. Well, most of it at least. Err, I guess that’s not actually the problem.

It turns out that the table is wider than the closet door, so it’s impossible to get it through. My theory is that they built the apartment around that table top. His theory is that the previous tenants were drunk. I like mine better.

He wanted it out. I told him he was nuts. I then mentioned that there was probably no way to get it without sustaining some sort of mild injury. I was joking, of course.

That said, we were determined to get that table out. And we did… it took us the better part of 15 minutes, but we did eventually get it. I lost both arms and sprained my right foot, so I had to limp around for the rest of the evening. Some dude sewed the arms back on for a nominal fee, and things were ok again.