Manic Oppressive

This crazy wind thing has got to stop… it keeps blowing all of the water out of my toilet.

I checked my mail today and noticed a bunch of ChristmasHoliday cards.

Which I have never (personally) received before.

From family members.

And I’m thinking, “How the heck do these people know where I live? That’s supposed to be a secret!”

So my revenge will be that I send them a card in the middle of May, or when they least expect it. Ha Ha.

So eBay is no longer just a house-hold brand name, it’s a colloquial expression a long the lines of Q-Tips, Coke and herpes (or the “Happies”, as I’ve started calling them.

I noticed this during conversations with a business partner on marketing, and we were trading ideas:
“Mass mailing,” I said.

“eBay!” he replied. Well, eBay probably wouldn’t work for this sort of thing, but thanks for the suggestion. I could be very wrong, though, so we’re gonna try it anyway because it’s really cheap, right?

So I composed a list of things that I would like to see being sold on eBay.

• Half of a used omelette pan
• A stock exchange for a small, Pacific Island country, like Pitcairn or Japan.
• An apple.
• Amazon.com
• An Origami Boulder (Check that out if you haven’t seen it before)
• A theremin. Oh, wait…

The City and County of Denver asked for $734 for my plates. Sheesh. There goes my “bed” fund.

So I figured that I would have a false sense of security with my new car having all-wheel drive and whatnot. So the first time it really snowed, I attempted to correct my feeling of immortality by approaching an ice slick in my parking lot, and cranking the wheel. Unfortunately, I stayed in control, which turned out to be counter-productive.

“Gee, I can handle anything!” I said to myself.

Fast forward a few days later… I’m at a gas station, and I had just filled up my car. In order to return to the street, I have to drive on a rather large, scary looking patch of ice. So I decided to take it kind of slowly.

Well, it didn’t help and a few seconds later, my car was hopelessly spinning and gliding. Right towards a gas pump.

The good news is that I now know how to take my car out of a spin with the traction-control system.

Dylan borrowed $36,000.00 for a new car, at an interest rate of 9.19% with a 60 month term. His bank told him that he paid $408.00 in interest on his first payment of $800.00.

Once he revives himself, how will he determine the method that the bank uses to calculate his rates? Is the rate Simple interest or Compound? monthly or annual?

If he is currently spending $0.41/mile, how many newspapers will he need to scalp to kids making paper-mache sculptures to break even?

Essay question:
Is it worth it? Generalize your answer.

While considering if/when I should start dating people again, I stumbled across this. (In a serendipitous manner, by the way.)

So when they said they would replace the thermostat, they were lying.

It’s hotter then hell in my apartment now.

Grr…

Recently, my heat hasn’t been on. All I knew was that it didn’t work, and it wasn’t too bad. I’d come home, use the stove a bit, and the temperature would become reasonable.

Then the weather took a little turn, and I found that method doesn’t really work when it’s below zero outside. So I looked at all the heat registers and bled them (which didn’t do a dang thing) and then I looked at the thermostat.

“Gee,” I say to myself. “It’s broken!”

So I called the leasing office (or relocation center as they say) and say, “My thermostat is broken”. They told me they would check on it.

I got home yesterday and found a note saying, “The T-Stat is broken and needs to be replaced. We will return tomorrow morning. Heat is on.” (The heat was on, somewhere between 90 and a hundred-and-effing 50 degrees).

But I was glad to hear that they agreed with me that my “T-Stat” was broken.

Whatever.

I was wondering about cheeses…

I was getting some parmesan cheese, and the placard on the table said that it had been “Cave aged for 12 years.” I felt a little weird buying a cheese that was older then my younger brother. But I had to wonder: Does one need to refrigerate it? I mean, if it has been aged already…

Another interesting question that only I would ask is, if you buy imported cheese, and forget about it, does the mold that it grows have diplomatic impunity? This is actually pretty important; considering the number of clauses in my lease and insurance policy specific to mold, I bet a lot of bureaucrats would freak out if they came close to that door in my refrigerator that says “Cheese”.

My research into the above questions led me here:

Which reminds me of a conversation I had with a girl a few years ago.

“What’s the blue stuff in Blue Cheese?” she asked me.
“Mold.”
“Eeew… That’s gross!”