Manic Oppressive

As a member of the ACM, I have more than passive interest in the use of technology for elections. Personally, I see it as a huge risk, but no one asked me.

So anyway, I’m on the sidelines, watching the election and I saw this gem:

Poll workers used hand lotion to prevent the machines from spitting out the cards.*

My first thought was, “Don’t worry, it’s only weird the first time.”

Seriously. What was wrong with paper?

* From this article on Forbes.com.

… was amusing today. The WTF in general was kind of a catcher, even for the non tech-types among us. And some of the dialog that follows is hysterical, (what is the plural of “mice”?) so I figured I’d share it with y’all.

Heh. “y’all”. Minons.

I don’t know a whole lot about history, and this attribute recently became kind of visible. So I purchased The Queen’s Slave Trader, which I am reading now. I don’t think I could’ve done it a year ago, due to my sensitive skin regarding non-fiction.

But after the Decameron, it seems like just another story.

But it suddenly hit me that a lot of the letters that he uses as a reference aren’t being produced as much; email is or already has replaced letters for a lot of correspondence, which makes me wonder what the historians of the future* will use.

So I have a new “cube mate” at work. After 8 months of being the only contractor around there with an office of my own, I finally had to give up the other side for someone.

He happens to be on my team, so I guess that not all is lost.

Anyway, I was navigating him through a web-site, and I said, “Click on the book in the upper left hand corner…” He fumbled with the mouse for a few seconds before asking, “What book?”, and I pointed it out to him. He then asked, “That’s a book?”.

So I replied that having worked for a library company, I could see a book in even the most abstract of icons. One gets used to it, I guess. So we started talking about my previous job with The Library Corporation, aka Carl.

Turns out he had interviewed there before ending up where he is now.

That, in combination with the fact that two different contractors that used to work there around a year ago have applied for the same position (one on two different occasions) leads to some startling conclusions.

1. There are two companies in the world that are hiring programmers right now. Them and Us.
2. In order to work with us, one needs to be rejected by them.
3. Meaning that I’m a reject.

Now when I left last March, I made a statement along the lines that I wouldn’t be able to find as sharp a team in the “real world.” At the time, I don’t think that I realized how right I was. Now don’t get men wrong, this new contractor guy is good, but I can kind of understand why he wouldn’t of fit in with Them.

And I had to laugh when he said, of the interview, “It seems like they were only asking technical questions related to problems that they recently had.”

Anyway, that’s my story.

I’ve always wanted Fisher-Price to make electronic gadgets because, well… when was the last time you saw something from Fisher-Price break? And think about how much abuse it survived before it finally did go kaput.

At least that’s how it was when I was a kid.

Anyway, according to this article Fisher-Price will have MP3 players and digital cameras. I can’t wait.

For some odd reason, I keep my phone charger at work. However this week I screwed up my charging routine, and this weekend finds me with a dying battery. So instead of taking a long drive and charging my phone in my car, I plugged it into a bench power supply.

I think it’s funny:

I added another pick-up line to my obscure list of things never to say to a woman:

“If I were a dream, would you wake up?”

It is unfortunate that I actually need a list, but I remember once, before said list, when I got my self in trouble:

Me (Tired after a business trip): I’m too tired now, but can I get your phone number to hit on you later?
Her: No. I don’t have a phone. (The guy in the next booth over starts laughing).
Me: Uh.. (The phone sitting next to her rings…)
Her: I’m borrowing it. (She picks it up and starts speaking greek).

So since that episode I have a list that even I can remember when I’m tired. I’ve also added a rule about talking to Europeans in general.

The City and County of Denver asked for $734 for my plates. Sheesh. There goes my “bed” fund.

I was studying Japanese at a coffee shop today when
a group of college aged students wandered in
One of the girls had a really nice Powerbook

I locked onto it and felt my bones become
lighter then air
A true geek is someone who appreciates
women not for their bodies
but for their laptops

As I was leaving
I said “Nice Computer”
She mouthed “Thank you…” and said
not a word
not distracted at all
It was as if I had said that
she was beautiful
and she got that from random strangers
all day long

I shall dream tonight
of her computer

I was cruising down Colorado Blvd. this evening, and I noticed some really bright, chaotic lights dancing in my mirror. I figured it was another one of those really plowed macho guys driving an SUV. I think I assumed correctly.

Anyway, as I approached the junction at I-25, I noticed that there were two cars stopped in the left lane, behind another car that wanted to be in the turn lane. (The lines there suck, and the signs and arrows are ambigous, so I forgive him for not being in the right place). Since I’m in the left lane, I brake (slowly).

I hear screeching behind me. So I look in the trusty mirror, and see the guy behind me almost plow into me. “Sweet!” I say, and pop into the center lane cutting off a police car. As I passed the guy who thought he was in the turn lane, I kind of waved him on so that the left lane would be free.

The drunk spins out, weaves around the cop to the “beside Dylan” position, which is normally only reserved for paying customers. Then he takes off like a bat out of hell.

I saw the drunk guy again at Yale. As the light turned green, he had troubles getting into gear. And the police car? No idea what happened to it.